


Snaccing

by SonOfGondor



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Banter, Other, References to memes, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 23:53:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17375573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonOfGondor/pseuds/SonOfGondor
Summary: Venom finds out people have been calling each other snacks without wanting to eat each other (gasp). Banter ensues.





	Snaccing

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a stupid story based on an idea I had in the middle of the night. Is people calling people a snack/snacc even a meme? I don't know, I'm just a shitposter/fanfic writer. But seriously, enjoy some casual symbrock banter.

Eddie is in that far too familiar position: sprayed out over his computer chair, procrastinating. Not even his symbiote nudges him to do anything, whether that’s writing the article he so dreaded or get him food.

 **Eddie,** suddenly sounds through his head, **we thought humans don’t eat each other.**

Concerning start for a conversation.

“No,” he replies, “we usually don’t. that outlawed and taboo and shit. I told you that, didn’t I?”

 **Yes,** Venom replies, **but then why did that woman just call Tom Hardy a snack? Does she want to eat him?**

“What? No?”

**Then why is she calling him a “snack”?**

“It means like being attractive or good looking.”

**Looking so good she wants to eat him?**

“No!”

**Then why is he a snack? A snack is a quick meal, is it not?**

“Yes, but…” Eddie sighed and buried his hands in his face. Was his symbiote just playing dumb or did he genuinely still not understand human culture?

**But what?**

“Humans don’t usually eat each other.”

**Then why does she want to eat him?**

“She doesn’t want to eat him!”

**We’d want to eat him. He looks like us. Your liver is tasty.**

“If you don’t stop right now, I’ll eat a salad tonight.”

**We’ll eat liver tonight.**

“You need me, you little parasite.”

Venom made a scoffing noise but stayed happily in his body, and judging by the lack of pain, he was not munching on his liver either.

**We’re offended. Get us chocolate.**

“No.”

**But Eddie**

“What?”

**You’re a snack.**

“Do you want to eat me? Good luck finding another host.”

**No, like Tom Hardy.**

“You want to eat him?”

**Are we playing dumb, Eddie?**

Eddie shrugs. It’s entertaining sometimes to pretend he doesn’t notice his symbiote is flirting with him, in his own, very unique Venom-y way.

“Me? I think you once told me I’m very intelligent. I’m a big shot journalist.”

**Eddie’s not so smart.**

“Oh?”

**Thinks we want to eat him.**

“I know you don’t want to eat me.”

**Why not?**

“Because you won’t find somebody like me ever again.”

Venom huffs. **Maybe we will.**

“No, you won’t.”

**We will.**

“No, you won’t.”

**Fine. Then Eddie knows what we mean.**

“With what?”

There’s a little pause before he gets a reply.

**You’re a snack.**

Eddie feels heat rising to his cheeks and to his chagrin he realizes Venom will feel the same thing.

“Alright then, buddy.”

Venom huffs again.

“I know what you need to hear.”

**We don’t need to hear anything.**

“Yes, you do.”

**Fine. Again.**

“Venom?”

**Yes, Eddie?**

“You’re a snack too.”

 


End file.
